PURE VENOM
Body Wash For People Who Hate Body Wash
It's just really good soap.
In a metal can.
With a skull on it.
We need 500 people to back our Kickstarter (launching next month).
Join the waitlist now to get early access + founding member perks.
It's that simple.
Limited first batch. First come, first served.
Big Soap spends millions convincing you their blue goo will transform your life. We spent that money on making a metal can with a skull on it instead.
You Decide.
WHAT IF YOUR BODY WASH DIDN'T SUCK?
What if the stuff in your shower wasn't designed by the same people who make toys for children?
What if it was actually... cool?
TYPICAL BODY WASH MARKETING
Experience the ████████ sensation of our new ████████ formula, guaranteed to make you feel more ████████ than ever before! With our patented ████████ technology and ████████ scent, you'll attract ████████ and achieve ████████ in just one wash!
PURE VENOM MARKETING
It's really good body wash. In a metal can. With a skull on it.
That's all we did. That's all you need.
Blood Essence
by PURE VENOM
OBSIDIAN CHARCOAL + MIDNIGHT ORCHID
$39.99
Pre-order price. Will be $49.99 at launch.
We could make it cheaper with plastic.
We won't.
Our first scent hits the sweet spot between "sophisticated adult" and "person who might own a switchblade."
In normal-human terms: It smells good without trying too hard.
GET IT BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE
Every person you refer moves you up 3 spots on the waitlist.
The higher you are on the list, the sooner you get access to our Kickstarter. The sooner you back our Kickstarter, the sooner you get Pure Venom.
Simple math.
How it works: After joining, you'll get a unique link to share. We'll track who signs up with your link. Yes, we can tell if you try to cheat the system. Don't be that person.
THE PURE VENOM ROADMAP
Where we are now → COLLECTING WAITLIST SIGNUPS
↓
Next month → KICKSTARTER LAUNCH (early access for waitlist)
↓
8 weeks after funding (hopefully) → FIRST BATCH SHIPS
↓
After that → MAKING MORE COOL STUFF WITH YOUR INPUT
No 5-year vision. No corporate roadmap. Just making cool stuff people actually want.
WHY PURE VENOM EVEN EXIST
Because we love cool design and hate plastic. We bring the real stuff.
NO PLASTIC
Because the ocean has enough of your shampoo bottles. Our metal packaging is fully recyclable, and looks awesome doing it.
NO MARKETING BS
We won't tell you this body wash will get you laid or make you feel like a Navy SEAL. It smells good. Like an actual grown-up should.
NO REGRETS
Better-smelling than most other stuff. Better-looking than any plastic bottle. The upgrade your bathroom deserves.
WHY $39.99?
Because we're not interested in cutting corners to make something mediocre.
Metal containers in small batches with custom design cost more than plastic that looks like a toy.
Quality ingredients cost more than cheap chemicals.
Building a sustainable brand costs more than churning out disposable garbage.
We need to make profit to stay in business and make more PURE VENOM after the initial 500 cans.
If price is your only concern, the grocery store has plenty of mediocre options that will end up in a turtle’s face.
ɹǝpun uʍop ɯoɹɟ ǝƃɐssǝɯ ɐ
If you're taking the time to read this upside-down text, you're exactly who we made this for.
Most brands would never admit they're charging you extra for packaging.
Most brands hide behind buzzwords.
Most brands are boring as hell.
We're not most brands.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
We're new. We don't have thousands of fake 5-star reviews.
We're not "industry veterans" or "former P&G executives" or whatever buzzwords most brands claim.
What we do have is people already signing up for a sick metal can (with a skull on it) that doesn't exist yet.
That's either really impressive or a sign of the apocalypse.
Either way, you should probably get on the list.
FAQ
You Might Be Thinking...
Yes, it will be once we gather enough backers. It's actual body wash in an actual metal container. We're not selling an NFT or a subscription to pictures of body wash.
Because quality ingredients and metal packaging aren't cheap, inflation is real, and we're not interested in cutting corners to make something mediocre. If price is your only concern, the grocery store has plenty of options.
No. The body wash inside is really good too. But yes, the packaging is a big part of what you're paying for. That's the point.
1. A spot on our waitlist
2. Early access to our Kickstarter
3. Founding member status (10% lifetime discount)
4. Updates without marketing BS
First production run starts ASAP once we have at least 500 backers. Early supporters get priority shipping.
No. We don't care what's in your pants. We care what's in your shower. It's for anyone who appreciates good design and is tired of the neon plastic wasteland that is the body wash aisle.
Hell no! We're new. But we care more about making something great than pretending we're bigger than we are. And you get to say you were here before we were cool.
Have you seen the ocean lately? ‘Nuff said.
You Should Sign Up...
Join The Pure Venom Founders Circle - 500 people who refused to let their bathrooms look like everyone else'
It takes 10 seconds. You're already here. Just do it.
(Or keep buying plastic bottles that look terrible and harm the planet.)
We hate spam more than we hate plastic bottles.
Your email will be treated with respect.
One Last Truth
You'll keep buying body wash anyway.
It might as well come in something that looks good and doesn't trash the planet.
© 2024 PURE VENOM. All rights reserved.
